Monday, May 25, 2009

The Inefficiency of Existence



Its time to crank that... or dat.

transmogrification. change. replacing representation.

More specifically, this article deals with death, the manifestation of death, and representation of the dead.

We preserve our dead for as long as possible. Why this happens I have no idea. I am currently struggling with the idea of preserved physical existence. No matter how much formaldehyde we pump into our dead bodies, one cannot retain heat or life. It is as if we are simply salted meat. A residue of life without consciousness. A summation of shit, piss, vomit and skin, coalesced into a whole formed from the accretions of each. Of course, just as the tidy room is realized through a made bed, so must our preserved bodies be cleaned thoroughly and suited up accordingly as if we were attending our own funeral. It must be realized that we celebrate death through the image of life. A representation of the living. It is fallacy which generates provocation. Further to this is the representation of the dead through the institution of the head stone. A marker of previous life. We have gone from life, to death, to dead body, to stone. Stones do not decompose. Flesh does. The stone becomes a manifestation of memory dedicated to the body. As a layer above this, I contemplate the picture of the tombstone. A representation of a representation. If one is to photograph a tombstone, what is the essence of memory inherent to the original body? Is the connection to the body or to the image of the stone.

So, while you are taking a shit, vomiting, pissing or shedding that skin, those fumes are the waste that our inefficiencies profess. I've been to death and back, the trip was long and the t-shirts too small, but the ineffable truths are as vague and irrepresentable as I ever could have imagined. Also, Ian Huff is not a fuckass.

Enjoy!

I shouldn't be advocating an event on June 5th (because there is a massively awesome party starting), but Miike Snow will be in concert at the supermarket in Toronto.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Clan



Shot through the heart, and you're too late, darling you give love a bad name.

So androgyny is big these days. I was thinking about Bowie, then labyrinth, then Jorge Luis Borges, and I realized everything is connected. I missed method man red man featuring raekwon and ghostface. I never understood the appeal of Wu-Tang Clan, or even why a fully black cast of rappers would want to be associated with a clan ideal. It seems ridiculous. Then I turned fourteen, and I realized, hey, I want to go to the gravel pit, where can I find a song that could best represent my interest. Low and behold I found the tongue-in-cheek rappers whose best album I will maintain is Enter the Wu-Tang : 36 Chambers, however they did garner some acclaim for their smash hit "gravel pit", which as best I can tell is just a euphemism for sex. Right? Maybe it is a euphemism for meat wallet, which is a synonym for vertical lips (thanks Panacci). Or maybe I'm completely off. The video has the group hanging out in a gravel pit talking about smoking dope... and there are diamonds and dinosaurs. I don't know why he told me to put my guns down, I don't have any. Although there are so many things I want to shoot. Bang! Also, why would prehistoric stone age era individuals own guns? They just need sharpened sticks or rocks... I said rocks, not rock. And now there are ninjas, I expected that.

Why did I like these guys, because they are awesome.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Rock Hard


You are getting me... rock hard. We are rockstars.

The swine flu is not getting me rock hard at all, in fact it has me as flaccid as bt in front of a fully nude Rosie O'Donnell. There was an article posted yesterday that people have been posting misinformation about the swine flu, and I have to say that I know all the facts:

1. Eating Bacon gives you swine flu.
2. If you are black, you cannot contract swine flu.
3. If you have sex with a pig, you will not be affected by swine flu.
4. Watching Heidi Montag get married will give you swine flu.
5. Supporting Felipe Calderon will give you swine flu.
6. Listening to any music provided by btmt will give you immunity to swine flu.

Personally, I like to mix the rules up. It's a game I made up.

1. Eating Heidi Montag will give you immunity to swine flu.
2. Listening to Bacon get married will give you swine flu.
3. If you are black, supporting any music provided by btmt will give you swine flu.
4. If you have sex with Felipe Calderon, you cannot contract swine flu.
5. You will not be affected by swine flu watching a pig.
6. Gives you Swine Flu.

Also, I hate Margaret Atwood.