Phoenix

And from the ashes, awesome was born.

Speaking of ashes, I was thinking about death the other day. Not because its part of my thesis, but because its part of everyday thought. The objective of every human being on the planet is to a) procreate (or orgasm) and b) to exist for as long as possible. The idea of existence has me constantly wondering not only about purpose, but what happens at the end of our existence. I have a theory in the vein of neuroscience. You know that feeling that one experiences when in a traffic accident, everything slows down, every second that passes seems like an eternity, as if your consciousness is aware of every facet of existence at that particular moment in time. What about the opposing ideal of when time is sped up and hours or days seem to pass quickly. What if how we perceive time is based on how we perceive existence? It is technically impossible for time to slow down or speed up, but our perception of time can change depending on the scenario in which we are experiencing it. This leads me to how we experience death and the concept of afterlife. Every religion has some sort of manifesto regarding what happens to the body/soul/mind once the life is extinguished. In their respective belief systems, some believe that one is transferred into a totally different state of energy, some believe that you will exist in a field of virgins and food, regardless, most of these examples of afterlife living are showered in light and wonder. However, what if the manner in which we have embodied an afterlife is flawed, and the mythological and iconographical existence of an afterlife has less to do with a physical manifestation, but more to do with a physiological effect on the brain from experiencing death. Back to the original statement about the human perception of time and its relationship to environment, perhaps when one is undergoing the final stages of death, our ability to distinguish time is eliminated from the functions of the brain. This would be indicative of how we perceive to exist forever in the timeline of human consciousness. Inevitably, time is passing, at whatever speed those around you experience it, and as such they perceive you as dead. However, what if your experience of time is such that, because the ability to distinguish time is gone, gives one the ability for time to be perceived as forever. As if that singular moment at the end of human life is extended into infinity, without quantification. Not because it does not exist as a quantity of time, but because your ability to comprehend that quantity of time ceases to exist.

Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team’s game. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did. He said to Bob. "I have good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good news first. There is baseball in heaven." Bob said, "That’s the best news!" Then Earl said, time for the bad news....”You're pitching tomorrow night."

By the way, this is coming from a straight up atheist. Rock on. And baseball would never exist in heaven, because heaven doesn't exist.

Huffman Fuckass

We would like to take this time to announce that Ian Huff is a fuckass.

Thanks to Audiomulch we have been able to waste half our day not making anything good at all. In fact, the only productive thing that happened today was the above image generated for a class we're taking. ACID! ACID! ACID! Flashbacks are great literary devices for telling your friends funny anecdotes like the following.

I don't really know much about interpreting dreams but there is one in particular that has always caused curiosity. I am riding a unicorn that has the ability to fly. I am outside my parents window. It is winter. Then out of nowhere a bear appears. I don't know the name of the bear, but he appears to have some vendetta against me. He leaps into the air hurling his furry body towards me on the flying unicorn who I have come to know as Pablo. Pablo and I avoid the bear's attempt at injury amazingly, but now the bear can also fly and we are forced to duel outside the window of my parents window. All of the sudden I look right and my parents are having sex on their queen bed outfitted with velour sheets which are red and silky smooth. I am thrown forth from Pablo and become impaled on his majestic singular horn, dying slowly in agony as the bear who has now identified himself as Maximillion the Bear feasts upon my entrails as I watch in horror. I awake in a hospital bed and everything appears back to normal, but then I remember that I'm not supposed to be in a hospital. As I lift up my head from the pillow I feel something sticky on the rear of my skull, as it tugs me back as I achieve a sitting up position. I reach back behind my head and realize that there is a gaping hole, dripping with pus and blood. My view is now forward recessing backward through the vital organ of consciousness, and I am in third person perspective outside my body viewing the wound from behind my skull. And that's the story of how I escaped the bear.

I've Got A Thing For You

Good morning vietnam. You've got a thing for me.

We were at full potential friday night, blazing through the playlist at the party. Added touches included the amazingly well-received "ugh" sample from James Brown's Say it Loud (I'm black and proud). I appreciate the nature of the new kids remix by MGMT, but its just not dancing material, the 80kidz re-edit is much better, with a better snare and bass added to the original mix, not to mention way harder distortion. I also felt that the Justice remix of Nazis wasn't very easy to dance to once it hit the speakers (these kids just aren't ready for Oizo yet). Phoenix have awesome new songs that I can't stop listening to. I'm sorry to anyone who saw me dancing without my shirt on at the party, we have to learn that shirts help support the band, not sweaty white guys dancing alone in the corner. We really should actually DJ, the mix was easy to setup and once it was running was pretty smooth, the absence of any mixer was the general reason for this choice, and we could cut up and sample songs before we even got to the party. We gotta get some crookers up in this bitch. Amazingly, Panacci introduced me to these guys. That asshole.

If I had the money I would hire backup singers for every occasion every day. I think that every chance I had to exude my point in argument would be thrice won over if there were some melodic element acting in reverberation. Not to mention marriage proposals would be dazzling, monotonic conversations would be enthralling, and eulogies would contain superfluous intonation killing off any dry boring memorials presented by other ennui present. The typical backup singers would be dressed in 1950's west side story attire, displaying their crass rebellious behaviour and disseminating a sense of awe among colleagues and co-workers... not to mention switchblades for the usual fight with rival bands. Of course I didn't stop to think of the repercussions contained within their constant dancing and choreography... we might have to stick to the supreme backup singers. The Supremes' backup singers: Mary Wilson and Florence Ballard. Black, gorgeous, and never ready to back down from a brawl in central Detroit.

Steroids

btmt is on steroids. Scorcher.

I was questioning the nature of multi-dimensionality earlier when the ideas of sectional representation of existing elements takes place. Say for instance you have a single point in space, it has neither length nor height, but simply exists as a co-ordinate, call it A. This point has no sectional properties as technically it can't exist in any other dimension than its own (the zero dimension). If you have a second co-ordinate, call it B, and you connect the two together, you form a line, the first dimension. If we take a section through a line at any point, we have a zero dimensional representation of a one dimensional object. We have an object that exists finitely in one dimensional space, but its existence in zero-dimensional space begins to approach infinity (within the realm of the line). If we extend this further, we have to create the second dimension by forming a second line, in a perpendicular direction to the original line, lets say we extend it from point A forming point C with the same length as line AB, then mirror ABC along the AC bisection. The quadrilateral with D at the fourth vertex. The square. Now, if we are to take the sectional representation of this object, we see that it is a one dimensional representation of the two dimensional object, the line. Further to this, a perpendicular extrusion of quadrilateral square ABCD into the Z dimension will give us a box. or ABCDEFGH. Taking a section through four points of the box (as long as they aren't on the same line) will give us the square, forming a representation of the third dimension in the second. Further to this, pretend that the box is moving. Now depending on where the box is in space, or if it is rotating, it has the characteristics of something in the fourth dimension, theoretically time. It is practically impossible for us to generate three dimensional representations of objects moving through time as a sectional representation in the third dimension due to the pure volume of information and material needed. Our purely visual way of capturing time in section is the photograph, or videotape. It recreates sections of three dimensional space in a two-dimensional medium. And going back to the earlier statement of the infinite coordinates existing as sections of a line in the zero dimension, so must sectional time exist in infinite within the line (acting in three dimensions) of each individual's period of existence... so remember, when you are vomitting in the toilet at one of our infamous after parties, if someone takes a picture or video tapes the event, be happy you don't interpret that moment as infinite. One should also be especially ecstatic that the bowl exists in the third dimension, and not the second, as a two dimensional ellipse will only get you puke-covered shoes.

Losing steam? We're just getting started.

AWMP

No freaking way. It's Lance with awmp. Much love. Turbo.

Bad news everyone, the show has been postponed until a later date. We are undoubtedly ready for any challenges that might coalesce in the next few weeks. Even if they are three while we are two, we will prevail. Let's just say we have some secrets up our sleeves, or tricks. Either way, put your socks and shoes back on and prepare to have them blown off.

AWMP vs. BTMT

Hey all you psychos with guns. Guess who will be attending the next presentation of btmt. You guessed it. Awmp. Those plagiarists are plagiarizing our smash hit from our first performance and taking it for their own. Some people just don't know when or how to stop copying other bands ideas and making them their own. Remember, when using a sniper rifle, aim directly for the eye, nose, ear, mouth as these are nominal areas of ballistic penetration due to the absence of any real bone, substituting cartilage and muscle in place of bone matrices. btmt does not advocate the use of any weapon in any situation, including band presentations or after-after parties.

We've just discovered that Panacci is now on the up and up, praising the band for its genius and ingenuity. We would like to thank our fans for converting that no-talent asshat into a blind sheep like the rest of you who clearly have no ears or eyes of any use. Rock on fans, may your lives be less awesome then ours forever! Send you straight to the moon.

Life in 3-D

Now in 3-D!

Also, Shake it cross the dancefloor remix (to go with the 3-D). bt is out at music week tonight and i will not get another chance to party without him for a while, so tonight is going to be huge.

Side story anecdote that I would like to share. I recently came upon a pair of 3-D glasses and decided to wear them all the time so that everything would always be in three dimensions. What I failed to realize was that we already live in three dimensions, so in fact the three dimensional glasses were doing nothing. This was of course until I looked in the mirror, and my three dimensional self came to life (metaphor). This is because a mirror acts as a two dimensional representation of your three dimensional self and allows the mirrored polarization effect to take place. I also thought about what it would be like to only ever be able to see things in orthographic projection, imagine only being able to see objects in plan, section, and elevation. Everyone would have a flat face, and their profile would be as their silhouette. I realize that this anecdote is coming from an architect in training, but regardless, it has me intrigued, as if it could be mastered, I would be unstoppable (metaphor). Best anecdote ever.

Explosive

There have been numerous incendiary remarks made on the comments pages of this blog, and I must say that it offends me and I love it. Take that bitch. L-i-licky-c-k-licky-y.

Lance

Congratulations to Panacci and his new partner Lance, we hope that you are truly gay together forever. We love all the gays in this world as well as the regular people.

update: Apologies to Panacci, this was a mean joke. He has no one, not even a gay lover named Lance. He is alone in the universe with his five finger army invading his pants.

Germans

Colour! Capitalization! Punctuation. Our fans had some requests. We secretly love Panacci, and his tasty italian sausage. Thanks for your help B07. We will try to improve as soon as possible please be patient. I mean... prick we are amazing so fuck your mother.

New single rolls out next thursday.

Also, keep a heads up for a competitive overzealous German cover cover cover band called ÄWMP. They are not us, but have been covering our song.

Haters

i found out today that there are haters out there who don't appreciate the goals or actions of the band. his name is panacci. we would like to thank all of our supporters collectively with the exception of a few who will be named at our next event presentation which will take place next thursday. i leave you with a joke. what did the elephant say to the naked man. "its cute but how do you eat with it".

update: realized there is a critical error in the statement above, apologies to all those affected. elephants can't talk. also, unicorns aren't real.

Fall Trees

when a tree falls and no one is around, does it make a sound. i like to think that trees scream as they fall, and the beaver who is conspicuously absent from this parable laughs in delight, like the serial murderer in the back of the asylum wagon. "ha ha," says the beaver. does anyone else think it's ok not to capitalize sentences. i find it less tedious and it doesn't really take anything away from the story. i am not a serf, but am part of a post-modern cover cover band called btmt. i am mt. welcome to our blog.

Welcome to My World.

BTMT